Asked by Anonymous
This message has sat in my inbox for awhile and while I haven’t responded to most of the hundreds of anonymous messages I’ve received about this situation (which is still exhausting and emotionally draining to talk about publicly, so forgive me if I’m terse), I feel compelled to respond to this one simply because I think it’s representative of some damaging misconceptions & misunderstandings about victims of emotional abuse.
First of all, I understand that you’re trying to compliment me, so thank you for that. But intelligence, confidence, and attractiveness have little to no bearing on whether someone is susceptible to being victimized - anyone can be vulnerable to a sociopath, and all of the girls who have come forward about their abusive experiences in the past month or so have been smart, confident, attractive girls. In fact, sociopaths are excellent at identifying ways to use positive traits against their victims as weapons in the process of systematically breaking down their identity, autonomy, and self-esteem (see: Traits of the Pyschopathic Victim and Stages of the Psychopathic Relationship).
Two additional breakdowns of how emotionally abusive relationships work that I have found extremely helpful in identifying how to categorize and come to terms with my own experiences, that might also help you & others who struggle to comprehend how victims of emotional abuse can “let” their abusers manipulate them: Covert Emotional Manipulation and How To Tell If You’re Being Manipulated. I recognized all of my experiences in those links, just as I’ve received so many private messages from girls who recognized their own experiences in my post and the posts of others - if you’ve been there, you Get It. You’re fortunate that haven’t, and therefore don’t. Hopefully you never will.
It’s been a whole year since I started this little blog all about shoey, and somehow I have manged to gain 9,000+ followers (which is totally unbelievable). I could go on and on about how crazy it is that that many people have followed me in just a year, but I don’t want to bore you with a text post!
Idk, y’all are awesome!